Stuck in Victimhood? How to Find the Gift When Life Seems Unfair


I  was born a “blue baby.” I didn’t breathe for six minutes, and my mother was always convinced that those six minutes caused my hearing loss.

I was always convinced God was punishing me.

I spent a good part of my life perfecting the role of victim and blaming everyone and everything for my disability. School was hard. I was teased and left out, and because I had an undiagnosed learning disability in addition to my hearing loss, I struggled for years with the belief that I was just plain stupid. I dreamed of becoming a marine biologist, but was told that kind of career would be too risky for me.

As an adult, I attended a silent retreat, where I finally sat with my feelings. I wrote a resentment list and realized how angry I was that not only had I lost my hearing, but that my love of whales had been “taken” from me as well.

Then I heard Spirit whisper: This is a gift! Suddenly I saw my hearing loss and my childhood struggles differently.

I have always been able to hear vowels, but not consonants. Vowels are the emotional, feeling element of language, while consonants represent the will. By living so completely in the world of vowels, I learned to feel people and their vibrations. I became adept at reading lips and body language and could tell when others spoke words that were not in alignment with their energy.

For so long my ability to perceive the invisible left me lonely. I often felt like the boy in the children’s tale who yells “The Emperor has no clothes!” I didn’t understand why people insisted on hiding their feelings and being inauthentic.

 My gift, I came to realize, is that I know how to communicate from a soul level. I know how to feel people and to connect heart to heart.

 All along, I was being prepared for the work I do today.

 Then came another realization: no one can ever destroy my passion for whales.

I began taking trips to commune with whales. On my first trip a whale rose from the water. I talked to him, asking him to come close. He lifted his head and allowed me to kiss him. Then he blew his spout directly in my face. As I sat there with whale slime all over me, it felt like my heart blasted open and I realized, “Wow. It’s all about breath.” I remembered a story I once heard about a man who was fishing when a whale approached him and scared him. The next day, the whale came back to visit the man with her baby.

That story embodies forgiveness. Despite a long history of being hunted, the whale demonstrated trust. This image called me back to my own forgiveness work. I was finally able to forgive my parents for protecting me in the best way they knew.  

Connecting with the high vibration of whale energy has helped me shift the victim mentality I carried for so long. I no longer look at my circumstances or experiences as unfair. Instead, I look to the whales to remind me to embody my authentic self.

WhaleBreathing is a wonderful way to start the transformation process. It allows you to tap into your own ocean of pure potentiality and to embrace the truth at the heart of all healing:

That life is not always fair. But it is always good.

Kimberly LeClair