Listening to Inner Guidance
I have a loop that is connected to my hearing aid. It is a device that I use to stay connected as I facilitate breathwork sessions. In essence, it’s a talking stick that is passed around the group as each person speaks. At the beginning of one workshop, people kept forgetting to talk into the loop. I repeatedly had to remind them to use the device. It wasn’t intentional. After awhile I grew frustrated and gave up. I lost connection to the group discussion. Instead of listening to my inner guidance to speak up for myself, I kept quiet and was unable to hear others speak and share in the conversation.
That evening, as I sat in a breathwork session with those of us on the staff, I realized that it was my responsibility to remind everyone, no matter how many times, that I wanted to be connected. The only way that would happen is if people passed the loop around. At that moment, I made a commitment to myself and the group. I had to remind myself that I was worth being apart of the group. They too were worth that connection to me.
This is how I move through issues that come up in my life. I don’t ignore them, I face them head on. Nurturing my inner deaf child by contributing to group discussions is vital for my own spiritual growth. Even though I still have weaker moments of feeling like a burden, I have tools to break free of that shame. Being present with uncomfortable feelings helps to release the emotion. Breathwork is the tool that aligns my body. It raises my vibration out of victimhood and creates balance. Connecting within is a refection of connecting to the outside world. I make that a priority to help me navigate the outer world. We all deserve to be heard, this begins with truly listening, not only to others but to ourselves as well.
I shared this story with a women who is married to a deaf man. She got choked up because she understands the pain. At times, I sit with the question of how can my deafness help people see themselves? I have a different perception of listening than of those who have their hearing. That difference can be a bridge to deeper understanding. With each new experience, I am able to connect to a new level of this gift of deafness.